Toasting is an OPT IN

Here’s the deal folks: if a sandwich shop owns a toaster, they owe it to their customers to ask them if they want their bread toasted.  As the customer, it’s not my job to know whether you have a toaster sitting back there.  It’s your job to enlighten me on all of my sandwich options.

In other words, toasting is an “OPT IN” not an “OPT OUT”.

I was all geared up to have a nice Turkey on Dark Rye from Beba’s in Seattle earlier this week.  It would have been an even better Turkey on Dark Rye if the fucking thing was toasted.  But no.  She was slopping on the deli mustard before I even had a chance to realize the toaster.  And we all know the famous saying when it comes to condiments on bread:

Once spread hits the bread, you can put that sandwich to bed!

So I was stuck with a mushy old sandwich that I purposely ate as fast as I could so I didn’t have to suffer through it.  Attention sandwich people everywhere: Toasting is an OPT IN.

I’m Serious About this Toasting Shit

Getting my Turkey Sandwich toasted the right way has been what some might call a “hot button” lately.  I want my Turkey Sandwich toasted the right way, is that too much ask?

My latest issue is with Which Wich.  I stopped by there a couple days ago and got two sandwiches: one to eat there and one for later.  The bread on the sandwich was toasted just fine, but the Turkey was cold and it just didn’t feel right.

Now, some of you might say, “I like it that way.  I like the hot side hot and the cold side cold!”  But I don’t think there are too many of you out there, or the Mc DLT would still be around.  Check out Jason Alexander pimping Mickey D’s.

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Here’s my advice to Which Wich: Offer double toasting.  That way, people can get the inside of the sandwich a little warmer, if they so desire.

Toast the Damn Sandwich!

There is an epidemic that is sweeping the Sandwich industry.  We’ve already had one casualty in Quizno’s and we’re in the process of losing another one in Schlotzsky’s.

But WE are the victims here.  And the worst part – it doesn’t need to happen.

Here’s the issue: Our sandwiches are being toasted less and less. The last two days, I’ve had a Turkey Sandwich from Schlotzsky’s or Quizno’s.  Both are obviously toasted less/faster than they were as soon as 6 months ago.  And definitely less than a couple years ago.

What’s the deal?  Does toasting the sandwich 10 fewer seconds really make them that much more efficient?  I’ll tell you what it makes them – a non factor – that’s what!

I go to Quizno’s only because they are close to my office and they have a parking lot, but their sandwiches are really a waste of time.  I go to Schlotzsky’s every once in a while because they are close to the tennis shop where I get my racquets re-strung.  The only redeeming quality of their Turkey Sandwich is the hot sauce, but that’s really just a cover-up for a bland-ass TS.

Bottom line – If you are going to pride yourself on “toasted” sandwiches, then TOAST the fucking sandwiches like you mean it!

On a separate, but related note to Quizno’s: I hate your commercials where people eat the $5.  It doesn’t make me want to eat one of your sandwiches.