Subway Cheats Like Snarf’s

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I made a big fucking deal out of Snarf’s ripping people off a couple years ago.  I still don’t give those cheating motherfuckers any of my Turkey Sandwich business.

Now, you can add Subway to the list of cheaters.  They’re ripping people out of one inch on their sandwiches too.  Link to story here. 1 inch is a lot.  Would you want to walk away from 1 inch?  I certainly wouldn’t.

Sing it with me: 5 dollar 11 incher!

Pieces of shit.  Both of them.

Snarf’s Update

As you might recall, a few weeks ago, I got a sandwich at Snarf’s here in Denver.  Being the professional Turkey Sandwich Eater that I am, I ordered their “professional” size, which is SUPPOSED to be 12″.  Upon measurement, it was 10.5″.

I contacted Snarfs in hopes of resolving this matter.  Amy McCall from Snarf’s responded to my email. Here’s what she had to say about screwing me out of 1.5″ of sandwich:

All of our stores use long cutting boards with notches marked into them for the sizes as well as our bread being fresh baked and therefore a irregular at times.  I measured all of our sandwich boards and noticed that at both Ogden (Denver store) and our Longmont store that their notches were off.  I had them switch their boards around, remeasure and drew notches on with a magic marker and all of our stores are now on the same page.

Ok, so let me get this straight:

  • Is it the irregular size of the bread that is the problem or the cutting boards?
  • And did the Director of Cutting Board Operations have a faulty ruler when they built these elaborate cutting boards or were they just an idiot?

To complete the rest of the story, Amy from Snarf’s did offer to send me a gift certificate as a ‘thank you’ for bringing this issue to her attention – which was a kind offer.  I accepted and emailed them my address on 9/21/10.  The problem is that today is 10/16/10 and I still haven’t received it.  But that’s alright.  Their sandwiches suck anyway.

Snarf’s Lies About Their Size

I have a few friends that talk a big game about Snarf’s.  They’re constantly telling me that Snarf’s is the shit and how I need to go there more often.  I tried Snarf’s when they opened up a location here in Denver about a year and a half ago.  I wasn’t all that impressed back then, but I’m even less impressed now.

First, let’s get straight on the sizes of sandwiches that Snarf’s offers.  They offer three sizes:

  • Novice (5″) for $5.75
  • Snarf’s (7″) for $6.50
  • And their Pro (12″) for $9.75

Being that I am a Professional Turkey Sandwich eater, I accepted the Snarf’s challenge and ordered the Pro.  I wasn’t super hungry, but I always like to plan a few meals in advance, so I thought I could eat half now and save half for later.

When I got home, I started inspect the sandwich.  I don’t want to be cocky or anything, but I know a footlong when I see it, and this sandwich felt like it was a couple inches short.  I wanted to know if the Pro is actually an amateur – So I measured it:

Snarf's "pro"

This photo actually made it look longer than it really was, so I took a closer shot:

Snarf's right

This Looks like about 10 3/8″ sandwich to me.  We’ll give Snarf’s the benefit of the doubt and call it 10 1/2″, but not any longer than that.  If my math is correct, that’s a full 1 1/2″ short of what they advertise on their menu.  If a Snarf’s “Pro” costs $9.75, that’s $.81/inch, which means that Snarf’s just ripped me off to the tune of $1.20.

So here’s the deal.  I will be contacting Snarf’s to address this issue.  I may even file a class-action lawsuit against Snarf’s on behalf of all the people that have received a 10 1/2″ sandwich when they actually bought 12 inches.  Stay tuned, folks.  The Turkey Sandwich Report is going to get to the bottom of this.