What Ever Mojo Schlotzsky’s Had, They’ve Lost It

I remember when I was first introduced to Schlotzsky’s.  I wasn’t fanatical about their sandwiches, but I would always make a point to swing by if I was near their location on Manchester Road in St. Louis.  Then, when I moved to Austin, which is the HOME of Schlotzsky’s I got a little more excited about their stuff.  There seemed to be a certain energy in this particular Schlotzsky’s location (South First and Barton Springs area).  They had iMacs in there so you could jump on the internet.  That seemed cool to me.

These days, Schlotzsky’s is a morgue.  Seriously, I never see anyone in there.  It’s hard to believe, but when I go inside Schlotzsky’s. it’s right up there on the “Bore Quotient” with Boston Market.  No music and the employees are uber bored ’cause they ain’t got no sandwiches to make.

With great trepidation, I stopped by Schlotzsky’s today because they are right next door to the tennis shop where I get my racquets restrung.  I literally stood outside the door debating if I wanted to get back in my car and go out of my way down to Smilin’ Moose or just go to Schlotzsky’s.  Fuck it, I’ll give Schlotzsky’s the nod.

My problem with this place is that their menu is really tired.  They don’t ever experiment with new breads or  sauces.  Every time, I get the same boring-ass Smoked Turkey Sandwich.  Every fucking time.  This sandwich is so boring, I actually let them put some of their crappy mayo on there.  The only reason this sandwich looks tasty is because I took a totally fucking awesome picture.  But believe me, this is a boring sandwich.

Schlotzsky's Turkey Sandiwich

My advice to Schlotzsky’s:

  • Your pizzas suck.  Get out of the pizza business.
  • While you’re at it. revamp the whole fucking menu.  It needs it.
  • Toy around with some new breads, and sauces.  And I know it’s not your thing – but add cheese to some sandwiches.
  • Lay off the stupid olives.  You don’t need them on EVERY sandwich.

This advice is free.  But if you want to talk more, I’ll have to charge you.  I’m not sure how much, but it will cost you something.