The Cutest Turkey Sandwich I Have Ever Eaten

Let’s face it, folks…I’ve eaten a lot of Turkey Sandwiches in my time.

  • Hot Turkey Sandwiches
  • Sloppy Turkey Sandwiches
  • Plain Turkey Sandwiches
  • Old Turkey Sandwiches
  • Dry Turkey Sandwiches
  • Juicy Turkey Sandwiches
  • Smelly Turkey Sandwiches

Lots of Turkey Sandwiches… literally thousands of Turkey Sandwiches.  I’m like the Wilt Chamberlain of Turkey Sandwiches.  And I’ve had Turkey Sandwiches all over this great country of ours.  I get around.


Patty’s in Lewes, DE

But I really think this one was the “cutest” Turkey Sandwich I’ve ever eaten.  It came from a little sandwich shop in downtown Lewes, DE (pronounced LOO-is) called Patty’s.  I didn’t have high hopes for this place, mostly because I thought that since it was called “Patty’s” they would have a wide selection of Patty Melts and I wasn’t in the mood for that kind of sandwich.

Patty’s was a nice surprise and I ordered this nice little Roasted Turkey Sandwich with Cranberry Relish on an ancient grain roll.  Isn’t this sandwich the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen?  And it was every bit as delicious as it was cute!

Isn’t this Turkey Sandwich cute?

My Boss’s Boss Called Me Out: I Half-assed this Whole Super Bowl Thing

My boss’s boss is a dude named Patrick Daugherty and he’s a pretty big deal where I work.  He’s a VP of something or other – not sure what, now that I think about it.  He’s such a big deal that he actually had the balls to call me out on supposedly “half-assing” this whole vote for the Super Bowl Turkey Sandwich thing.

After a meeting this week, he pulled me aside and said, “Did you get my comment on your blog?”  I said, “no.”  “Well, I left one and I think you really screwed the pooch on this one.  You call yourself a marketer and you give us these boring-ass, no theme Turkey Sandwiches to choose from?  I think it’s bullshit.  And on top of that, you never even mentioned in your post about Perry’s Deli.  I bought you that sandwich and that’s what I get?  Poor form, Stewart, poor form.”

He went on to point out that I could have had a New York Deli-style sandwich where I pile a shitload of Turkey on Rye.  Or I could have done a Turkey Sandwich with some roast beef bullshit like they do in Boston.  Or I could have done something with an Indianapolis theme – not that I even know what that could be – but he thought that would be a good idea.

The fact of the matter is that this is MY BLOG and I can do whatever the hell I want.  When it comes to Turkey Sandwiches, I don’t have to bow to some dude just because he has a couple letters before his name.  I’m the CEO of this bitch and can do whatever I want.

But I am gonna call this whole thing off because you people don’t know what you’re talking about.  The Philly Turkey Sandwich ran away with the voting and I don’t want to make that sandwich.  I’m gonna make that Queso Smothered Turkey Sandwich…Remember?  I’m CEO.