The Biggest Turkey Sandwich Letdown of All-Time

For the last couple weeks, I’ve been talking up the Turkey Sandwiches from the QFC Deli.  For those of you not in the Northwest, QFC stands for “Quality Food Centers” and most of the stores have a nice little deli featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses along with some REAL Turkey breast slices.  I visit a lot of grocery stores for my full-time job and QFC has been a reliable source of Turkey Sandwich pick-me-ups.

Until today.

To order a sandwich from the QFC deli, you fill out a sheet of paper and tell them exactly what you want (a la Which Wich).  In the past, I’ve had really good luck matching up Boar’s Head Pastrami-seasoned Turkey with a nice Deli Mustard, so that’s what I went with today.  But here’s what I got:

Does this look like Deli Mustard?

Does this look like DELI MUSTARD? NO, because it is fucking YELLOW MUSTARD.  The problem with mustard is that once it’s on the sandwich, it’s on the sandwich.  At least with Mayo you can scrape it off and get rid of most of it.  Not with Yellow Mustard.

On top of that, the Whole Wheat Ciabatta sucked too.

The lesson learned here: It’s better to be the asshole who asks to see the mustard before it’s applied to the sandwich rather than the asshole who says “that’s the wrong mustard!” after it’s already hit the bread and they have to start over.  But whatever you do, don’t be the dipshit that I was today and just accept their mustard and hope that it’s going to turn out.

Wacky Deli Prices at Albertson’s

The big news here is that I have changed grocery stores.  After settling on King Sooper’s, I’m making a change to Albertson’s.  Yes, Albertson’s is still in business.  I think they have 2 or 3 stores in Denver.  I’m not sure about the rest of the country, but I do know they got pounded unmercilfully by HEB down in Texas and crawled out of there with their ass in a sling.

But Alberson’s is within walking distance of my my new pad, so it’s worth giving it a shot.  But an immediate red flag went up when I saw this pricing scheme:

The Price of Turkey at Albertson's

Wow.  That “Homestyle Black Pepper” seasoning better be prety fucking good to justify adding $3.50/lb on to the price.  And what makes the Black Pepper more “heart healthy” than the “Santa Fe”?  They sound prejudice against Santa Fe and/or New Mexicans to me.