The Sandwich Business in Highlands Ranch, CO is in the Shitter

Bad news to report, folks.  The Great Recession is wreaking havoc on the sandwich business – especially in Highlands Ranch, Colorado.  I was down in what a friend likes to call “Northern Colorado Springs” yesterday as Mrs. Turkey Sandwich was having ankle surgery.  As many of you know, we used to live down that way, so I used her time under the knife to go visit some of my old Turkey Sandwich haunts.

First stop: Bear Rock Cafe – CLOSED

Bear Rock Cafe in Highlands Ranch is closed

Okay, second stop: Smiling Moose Deli – ALSO CLOSED!

Smiling Moose in Highlands Ranch is closed

Friends, if this doesn’t tell you that this economy is still taking a huge dump, then you are a hopeless optimist.  A long time ago,  a very smart man said, “once the sandwich business goes in the tank, we’re all fucked.”

Let me tell you something, people: we’re officially fucked.  Especially when my only choice was Firehouse Subs.

Firehouse Subs in Highlands Ranch is still open

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3 thoughts on “The Sandwich Business in Highlands Ranch, CO is in the Shitter

  1. Hey Neal, I stumbled upon your website by chance. I was googling turkey sandwiches hoping to stumble upon a blog against turkey sandwiches, but, instead, I got your blog. Why against? Well, I f’ing hate the sandwich. I think turkey is relatively bland bird that really shouldn’t be eaten unless necessary. Well, I gave your blog a whirl, and, while I found to be a mildly entertaining read, you ultimately confirmed everything I thought about the turkey sandwich eater:

    You have no taste. You keep mentioning places like “Jimmy Johns” and “Quiznos” but, oddly, not in a negative light. Those are horrible places that make dull generic food for people who don’t know better. Turkey sandwiches are best as diet food for shallow people who rather smother the last bit of joy they’re capable of feeling than enjoy a good meal (or fat, little akrates who will eat a turkey sandwich then binge on ice cream at night). From what I’ve observed, watching other joyless, tasteless, insignificant people, you probably also drink diet coke and eat baked chips. Why? Because it’s the perfect supplement to shallow, tasteless persons diet.

    Anyways, I’m running out of steam to rant. So I’ll close by mentioning the random references to celebrities (who are those people?), also makes sense. The average turkey sandwich eater loses all ability to discern virtue. So of course, you embrace caring about celebrities whose only virtues are that other virtueless people care. In fact, the whole f’ing site makes sense because what dumber, more retardedly existentialist activity could someone aspire to undertake than a f’ing blog about turkey sandwiches? Nothing short of waiting for Godot, idiot.

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