Enough of this warm and fuzzy shit. It’s time for The Turkey Sandwich to start serving up some hard-hitting journalism. It’s time to start talking about the REAL issues that matter. Like the shit that going down at Jimmy John’s in Pioneer Square (Seattle). These are real issues with real people and The Turkey Sandwich isn’t going to just turn away and act like it’s not going on.
When I left the office to find my lunch I hadn’t a care in the world. But when I got back to the office, I was burdened with the knowledge of real atrocities going on in the world of Sandwich Making. We would all like to act like this shit isn’t happening. But it is.
Meet Jason (right) and his knucklehead friend:
Jason was done wrong by some asshole manager at Jimmy John’s. You see, Jason is a bike messenger and he doesn’t make dick for money. So he took a second job at Jimmy John’s to make a little extra cash.
Apparently the management at Jimmy John’s had a problem with the stench Jason would drag in to the shop when he showed up to work. “Valid point” you might say, but here’s the deal: It wasn’t Jason that stunk, it was his work shirt. And Jimmy John’s only gave him one fucking shirt. Jason doesn’t live in some swanky house with a washer and dryer. Jason can’t afford to be going out to do laundry before every shift. So the shirt stunk.
Jason tells me that he very politely explained his dilemma and requested another shirt from the jerkoffs at Jimmy John’s. And like the sons of bitches that they are, they rejected his request.
So Jason and his knucklehead friends picket Jimmy John’s and explain his plight to anyone who will lend an ear. Jason is willing to negotiate. He’s willing to get his job (with the addition of a couple more work shirts) back or will accept just two months of severance pay.
The Turkey Sandwich Report stands in solidarity with Jason. We will not be patronizing ANY Jimmy John’s until this situation is rectified.
If any of the douchebags from Jimmy John’s would like to contact me, The Turkey Sandwich Report is ready and willing to mediate this stuation. I hope we can reach a solution. It’s in the best interest for all of us.