I Don’t (and Won’t) Watch the Food Network

A couple days ago, I got voicemail message from a loyal reader of The Turkey Sandwich Report.  In this message he told me about the Bobby Flay Show and how he was talking to some guys in Louisville about these Turkey Sandwiches called “Browns.”  This guy was really excited about this and wanted me to check this shit out.

Let me be clear: I don’t watch the Food Network, nor do I have any fucking idea what number it is on my cable.  Not in my repertoire.

It’s great that Turkey Sandwiches got some respect on this channel, but I sure as shit ain’t gonna sit thru hours of watching Emeril cook Gnocchi Fondue, Baby Turnip Strumpets or Oven Roasted Chilean Sea Bass on a bed of Jasmine Rice topped with Saffron Creamed Spinach just to see how some fucking clowns in Kentucky make a Turkey Sandwich.  Not happening.

And I know some of you haters out there might be saying, “Well, if this is the Turkey Sandwich Report, shouldn’t you be interested in anything that has to do with Turkey Sandwiches?”

The answer is “No, I do have a life outside of this blog.  I have better things to do than watch the Food Network.  Plus, I’m not gay.”

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3 thoughts on “I Don’t (and Won’t) Watch the Food Network

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