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You might recall some previous posts about our favorite stoner-themed sandwich shop, Cheeba Hut. It’s easy to say that Cheeba Hut is our favorite stoner-themed sandwich shop because it’s the only one we’ve been to. If you don’t recall those posts and are curious, click here.
Anyway, Cheeba Hut has invaded Denver. Actually they probably invaded Denver about a year ago, but I don’t go downtown too much, so I hadn’t ever been to their new location until today. I have to get my blood checked every 6 months for high cholesterol issues and it is my tradition to absolutely gorge myself after getting my blood drawn. Since I was off work today, I decided to head downtown and see what Cheeba Hut was smokin.
I went with a “pinner” sized Afghani: Turkey, jalapenos and pepper jack cheese. I also added their house sauce, which is a parmesan/oregano vinaigrette. I’ll say this: it was better than the last sandwich I had there. I’m not gonna put it in the Turkey Top 10 or anything, but it was solid.
Other than of course the names of their sandwiches, the best thing about Cheeba Hut is the fact that they have Kool-aid on tap. Not really on tap like beer, but you get my point. Stoners love them some Kool-aid.
Rodney’s is a hot spot for the middle-aged set in Cherry Creek. It ain’t no thing to see women strutting around in a bedazzled, lycra-spandex blend jumpsuit in-between her sips of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay. Or you might see a smooth-talking car salesman chilling in his best Tommy Bahama shirt while he nurses a Michelob-Ultra/Jim Beam Boilermaker.
Rodney’s is also in a basement, so if there is a chill in the air, it’s nice and cozy inside. There’s something about wood paneling and the smell of Windsong and Old Spice that makes me feel at home.
As you can see, it’s a pretty sweet place. Mrs. Turkey Sandwich and I like to hit Rodney’s up from time-to-time to take in the sights and smells while we have dinner and a couple cocktails.
The menu at Rodney’s is interesting. It’s one of those places that can’t decide what they fuck they specialize in, so they do a little bit of everything. They do enchiladas, chicken fried steak, burgers, steaks and yes a Turkey Sandwich.
Honestly, I’ve been to Rodney’s 4 or 5 times and I’ve resisted the Turkey Sandwich every time. Maybe I was in awe of the sets of fake, middle-aged breasts, or maybe it was the opportunity to get “Tres Enchiladas” at a place called Rodney’s. Whatever it was, the time had not come – until last night.
I ordered Rodney’s Turkey Sandwich and I’ve doubled down by getting the Au Gratin potatoes as my side. Rodney makes a bold statement about his Turkey Sandwich on the menu: “we slow roast our own, slice it, and pile it high”.
I don’t know about that Rodney. Slow roast it? Maybe. The quality of Turkey was good. But Rodney, “pile it high”? I don’t think so.
As Mrs. Turkey Sandwich, who ate half of the sandwich because her sliders were cooked a little more rare than she would have liked, said, it needed some sauce or something. Excellent point. As I look back at the photo, I wish I would have thrown some of those Au Gratin potatoes on there. That would might have been tastier than eaves-dropping on that Tommy Bahama guy trying to hook up with Lady Bedazzle.
As you might recall, a few weeks ago, I got a sandwich at Snarf’s here in Denver. Being the professional Turkey Sandwich Eater that I am, I ordered their “professional” size, which is SUPPOSED to be 12″. Upon measurement, it was 10.5″.
I contacted Snarfs in hopes of resolving this matter. Amy McCall from Snarf’s responded to my email. Here’s what she had to say about screwing me out of 1.5″ of sandwich:
All of our stores use long cutting boards with notches marked into them for the sizes as well as our bread being fresh baked and therefore a irregular at times. I measured all of our sandwich boards and noticed that at both Ogden (Denver store) and our Longmont store that their notches were off. I had them switch their boards around, remeasure and drew notches on with a magic marker and all of our stores are now on the same page.
Ok, so let me get this straight:
- Is it the irregular size of the bread that is the problem or the cutting boards?
- And did the Director of Cutting Board Operations have a faulty ruler when they built these elaborate cutting boards or were they just an idiot?
To complete the rest of the story, Amy from Snarf’s did offer to send me a gift certificate as a ‘thank you’ for bringing this issue to her attention – which was a kind offer. I accepted and emailed them my address on 9/21/10. The problem is that today is 10/16/10 and I still haven’t received it. But that’s alright. Their sandwiches suck anyway.
I have a few friends that talk a big game about Snarf’s. They’re constantly telling me that Snarf’s is the shit and how I need to go there more often. I tried Snarf’s when they opened up a location here in Denver about a year and a half ago. I wasn’t all that impressed back then, but I’m even less impressed now.
First, let’s get straight on the sizes of sandwiches that Snarf’s offers. They offer three sizes:
- Novice (5″) for $5.75
- Snarf’s (7″) for $6.50
- And their Pro (12″) for $9.75
Being that I am a Professional Turkey Sandwich eater, I accepted the Snarf’s challenge and ordered the Pro. I wasn’t super hungry, but I always like to plan a few meals in advance, so I thought I could eat half now and save half for later.
When I got home, I started inspect the sandwich. I don’t want to be cocky or anything, but I know a footlong when I see it, and this sandwich felt like it was a couple inches short. I wanted to know if the Pro is actually an amateur – So I measured it:
This photo actually made it look longer than it really was, so I took a closer shot:
This Looks like about 10 3/8″ sandwich to me. We’ll give Snarf’s the benefit of the doubt and call it 10 1/2″, but not any longer than that. If my math is correct, that’s a full 1 1/2″ short of what they advertise on their menu. If a Snarf’s “Pro” costs $9.75, that’s $.81/inch, which means that Snarf’s just ripped me off to the tune of $1.20.
So here’s the deal. I will be contacting Snarf’s to address this issue. I may even file a class-action lawsuit against Snarf’s on behalf of all the people that have received a 10 1/2″ sandwich when they actually bought 12 inches. Stay tuned, folks. The Turkey Sandwich Report is going to get to the bottom of this.
Being a Turkey Sandwich “insider” has its perks. For example, on a fairly regular basis, I’m invited to power lunches with some of the movers and shakers of the sandwich and/or deli industry. This past week, the guys at Smiling Moose Deli, invited me to stop by their Colorado Blvd store for a few sandwiches and a chat.
Big props to these guys – they know how to treat a VIP such as yours truly. First of all, they had a rock start parking space waiting for me – which is a big deal at this location. (take note of the silver Camry on the right)
Secondly, the brought out not one, not two, but THREE Turkey Sandwiches for me to sample.
Overall, it was a great meeting with Kevin and Kevin at Smiling Moose. Here’s what I learned:
1. The quality of Turkey is predicated on how many Turkey parts are used in making the meat. Smiling Moose uses three part Turkey whereas some of those OTHER sandwich chains use 8 or 9 part Turkey. That sounds disgusting.
2. Smiling Moose has a Turkey Philly Cheesesteak and it’s pretty damn tasty.
3. Turkey Sandwiches make up 70% of sales at deli/sandwich shops. That’s a big number, but a guy who owns a chain of sandwich shops told me this, so I know it’s true.
Here’s my part of my chat with Kevin and Kevin from Smiling Moose Deli.
Today, October 31, 2009, was the big day. The Rackhouse Pub opened today and unveiled what will probably be one of the hottest attractions in Denver. No, not the 20-some-odd Colorado craft brews or the Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey. The hot attraction is their “Stewart’s Turkey” sandwich.
Although we were not the first lunch patrons in the pub’s existence, I was the first to have the Stewart’s Turkey – see video below:
My reaction after eating the rest of the burger/sandwich – it’s really good and worthy of the Stewart name. I was not consulted on the creation of this sandwich, but I’m proud to have my name associated with it.
Here’s an ingredient-by-ingredient break down of Stewart’s Turkey:
- The Turkey Burger itself – solid.
- Cheese – i’m not a HUGE brie fan, but this was a very mild brie and it was better probably because it was melted.
- Tomato – I have a weird thing about tomatoes. I hate them when they are plain, but I love salsa, spaghetti sauce and bruschetta. In other words, I like tomatoes when they are seasoned. The tomatoes on this burger are awesome. They seriously make the sandwich.
- Balsamic drizzle – I don’t know if I have had a Turkey Sandwich with balsalmic vinaigrette on it. It’s not a combination you hear about everyday. I’m a big fan of balsalmic though. In fact, I usually get it on the salad that I order once a year.
- Bun – don’t act like the bun’s not a big deal. It is. I like the fact that it’s a MULTI-GRAIN bun. Kind of like me. I’m MULTI-TALENTED.
That’s it. Go get yourself a Stewart’s Turkey at the Rackhouse Pub. Think of it as a tribute to the Turkey Sandwich Report. Oh, and tell ‘em Stewart sent ya.
Big news people. My protege, Chris Rippe is opening a bar in Denver called the Rackhouse Pub. It’s in the same building as the new Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey Distillery. That’s all fine and dandy, but the really big news is that he will be serving a Turkey Sandwich called “Stewart’s Turkey.”
Yes, that’s right – there is now a Turkey Sandwich named after yours truly, the Founder of this Turkey Sandwich Report. I visited Chris today and talked to him about this epic sandwich. Click here or on the video below to view why he named it after me.
The Rackhouse Pub opens on 10/30/09. You can follow them on Twitter here.
My Jewish friends here in Denver have been telling me, “Neal, if you want to ess a good Turkey Sandwich, you need to eat at Zaidy’s. Everything else is chazerei.” Then some of them say, “Neal, if you don’t like the Turkey Sandwich at Zaidy’s, you’re fercockt.”
I’ve lived in Denver for three years and I have not taken their advice and gone to Zaidy’s. I was starting to feel like a real nebbish.
Today I finally got my tuches over to Zaidy’s to give their Turkey Sandwich a try. I ordered the Smoked Turkey and Apple Sandwich and Ay-Yay-Yay this is a great Turkey Sandwich. To be honest, I could have schtupped this sandwich. Real Turkey, bacon, apples and a really thick honey mustard sauce – I was totally ferdrayt.
Next time you’re in Denver and looking for a place to drop some gelt on a Turkey Sandwich, go to Zaidy’s.
For a translation on some of these phrases, click here.
Unlike the Men’s Basketball Final Four, we’re going to have some battle royales in the Turkey Sandwich Final Four.
In our first National Semifinal, we have Mendelson’s of Denver, CO taking on Pat’s Philly Cheesesteaks also of Denver, CO.
The Tale of the Tape
- Mendelson’s is a Boar’s Head Deli, Pat’s uses REAL (not processed Turkey) – PUSH
- Mendelson’s has at least 4 styles of Turkey, Pat’s has two Turkey Sandwiches – Advantage Mendelson’s
- Mendelson’s has triple decker Turkey Sandwiches, Pat’s has a sandwich that is as long as my arm – PUSH
- Parking at Mendelson’s is a pain in the ass, parking at Pat’s (downtown) is a pain in the ass – PUSH
In the end, Mendelson’s noses out Pat’s because of their Turkey Sandwich selection. Pat’s is a strong competitor, but Mendelson’s goes to the final.
In our second National Semifinal, Lori’s Boars Head Deli of Evergreen, CO takes on The Gristmill of New Braunfels, TX.
Tale of the Tape
- Lori’s is a Boar’s Head deli, Gristmill has kickass Turkey too – PUSH
- Lori’s has a really good deli mustard, Gristmill has prime sauce – Advantage Gristmill
- Lori’s is at a gas station, Gristmill is an old mill on the Guadalupe River – Advantage Gristmill
All of the Turkey Sandwich prognoticators were picking an all Boar’s Head Deli match-up in the finals, but in a huge upset, The Gristmill has defeated Lori’s.
That sets up a Championship of Mendelson’s vs. The Gristmill. Colorado vs. Texas. Wow.