Let Me Tell You Something About Bread and Cheese
12 03 2007Sure, the Turkey is an important element of the Turkey Sandwich. But two things that should not be discounted or over-looked are BREAD and CHEESE. I’m a big fan of both and I wanted to share a few rules of Bread and Cheese as they relate to Turkey Sandwiches.
RULE #1 - The cheese always needs to be between two slices of Turkey. The cheese should not be touching the bread unless the corner of the slice is sticking out or that it has melted and spiller over. The meat and cheese need to practically be dry-humping each other…and we all know that can’t happen if there is a slice of lettuce in the way.
RULE #2 - All bread must be toasted, unless it is a hoagie roll, ciabatta or a bun. I haven’t talked about toasting too much on TTR, but it is extremely important if you are eating sliced bread. Untoasted bread just gets too flimsy and I hate it when my fingerprints indent the bread. You gotta toast that shit.
RULE #3 - Microwaving toasted bread is a good way to fuck up a Turkey Sandwich. Don’t be a greedy little bitch and think that you can do both. You can’t. Toast your bread and move on.
RULE #4- You should never shake a baby and you should never use American Cheese on a Turkey Sandwich. American Cheese blows. I recommend Provolone, Cheddar, Swiss (only with Rye) or Hot Pepper Cheese.
RULE #5 - Always cut the Turkey Sandwich into two triangles. Cutting straight across is for losers. Triangles are cool and it makes for a nice presentation when you put the chips in the middle, in-between the two sides of the sandwich.
BTW, if you should ever happen to have the unfortunate luck of running out of Turkey, may I recommend a delicacy that my Mom seemingly invented. All you need to do is toast some bread (any sliced bread will do) and spread some Cheeze Whiz on it. Make every attempt to spread the Cheeze Whiz on the bread as soon as you get it out of the toaster so it melts and soaks into the bread a bit. That’s it.
I don’t know why, but my Mom calls this “Cheeze Whiz on Toast”. Enjoy.
You’ve been away from “The Lou” for too long. I see you left out provel cheese as an acceptable cheese topping. For those uneducated and uninitiated with this type of cheese, it is a blend of provelone, mozzarella, and cheddar combined to make 1 new cheese. It’s pretty much only available in St. Louis, but it’s damn tasty.
Neal, what do you put on your turkey sandwich? I am a Miracle Whip (I know you like your mayonnaise, or “love juice” as your mom used to call it), cheese, and lettuce type of guy. Occasionally I like some bacon on there.